Manboy and I were getting married in this BIG, scary(i have a strange fear of churches) church and we both had our entire family there. He's wearing this bright orange ruffly suit and top hat, and I'm wearing the dress from Mary Poppins when they jump thru the picture, parasol and everything. We get to the bit about the vows and crap and he says all this wonderful stuff(that I now cant remember)and I'm so amazed by it I totally forget what I'm going to say. It gets to be my turn and I'm speechless. I had something really good worked out but can't think of it to save my life. I look at my mom and she's so embarrassed by my forgetfulness that she's sneaking out the side door with a plant over her head. So I look to his mom and I see her saying to his dad "i told you she wasn't good enough!" and she starts pulling this impossibly big gun out of her purse with a silencer and laser site thing. I'm thinking to myself as she's taking aim "Oh shit, it's just like kill bill...." and then I remember having donuts that morning while getting ready shout out "Donuts! Matt is like a donut!" and proceed to explain how life is like a tray of donuts and its hard to find one you want. How too many are too sweet with two kinda of frosting and sprinkles, and then there are the fancy ones that taste kinda weird, and the brick like maple ones that you should probably make houses out of instead of eat, and the cream filled ones that have a hole in the side and leak everywhere, and the ones that were under another one so half the frosting is gone... But then you find the one good old fashioned donut in the back corner of the tray kinda under something else. Not outlandish frosting, just a nice glaze, kinda odd shaped but perfect for dunking, and they are pretty good at anytime of the day. And somehow I manage to turn in all into really bad poetry. And at the end I say "I love you donut!" I look at his mom and she's now got the gun to her own head, and my moms no where to be seen. Everyone else is just giving me the one eyebrow what-the-hell look with their mouths open. Unfortunately they are all so dumbfounded that their one eyebrow is trying to go up so high that its getting up into their hairline and then their eye starts to split open at the corner and rip their face in two... At this point they all start screaming and panicking because they can't make it stop.
It pretty much ends with lots of blood, burst eyeballs and general panic and distress. Matt and I just stood there and watched it all. I wasn't quite sure how you handle that sort of thing...
I think I need to be evaluated.
I've decided that having an egg on toast before bed is a bad idea. I had many odd/disturbing dreams last nite, but this one stuck with me the most. I woke up terrified but cant seem to quit giggling about it now.